The Importance of Learning How to be a Homemaker BEFORE Marriage
Would you trust a firefighter who has had no training? Do you expect to just walk into a BMV and demand your driver’s license without having any practice? Do you trust a doctor who does not have his degree? Why then do we think it is okay to wait until we are married to start learning how to be a wife and a homemaker?
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This question has been on my mind for some time now and honestly, does not make much sense to me. So… I wait around 19 years to get married, have marriage counseling one month before I am married, and then expect to be a wise wife that knows how to handle situations that come with marriage all of a sudden? I don’t think it works that way. Actually, I KNOW it does not work that way. How could it?
We go to school for 12 years to prepare to go to college, but we don’t spend any time learning how to do the most amazing, most important job in the world – being a homemaker.
Let’s first clarify who a homemaker is. A homemaker does not have to be a stay at home wife, a mom, or an experienced 40 year old. A homemaker can be a 10 year old who is learning how to cook and clean, an engaged woman who is preparing for her wedding day, a newly married wife who is pregnant for the first time, or an older woman who has already raised 5 kids. A homemaker is EVERY woman. God has called us all to be homemakers and has placed this need in us to take care of a family and a home.
As a high school senior, I started to realize how important it was for me to start preparing to be a wife. I started reading books, watching videos, studying the Bible, asking questions, and more. I wanted to know all I could!
I would take my homemaking books to school and read them when I had free time. This caused quite a stir! I had one teacher make the comment: “I hope you wait A LONG time before you get married and have kids.” I’m so glad I didn’t follow her advice. I really don’t know how anyone could say that especially because the people that say those things are always married! It breaks my heart how everyone has the idea that you need to wait until you are 28, have a big degree and $100,000 (*cough* and a huge student loan) in the bank to start a family. But… that’s a conversation for a different day.
One reason why you should start learning how to be a homemaker TODAY is because it will make you a better woman TODAY. As you start studying, you will learn many characteristics that you should have now, not just when you are married. You were learn about patience, forgiveness, modesty, how to be hospitable and so much more! It will really change the way you live your life now and in the future.
Resources to Learn How to Be a Homemaker:
- Books: The first book I read about being a good wife is still my favorite book today! It is called Living Virtuously by Erin Harrison. She dives deep into the Proverbs 31 woman and points out all of her characteristics and how we can have those same characteristics too! She takes a lot of quotes from Debi Pearl’s Created to be His Help Meet which is another awesome book that I read before I was married (she has another book just for unmarried women learning to be a homemaker’s called Preparing to be a Help Meet). One book that I am still working on is called The Christian Homemaker’s Handbook and was written by many different, godly, homemakers. This is a book I recommend getting after you read the other two I have already mentioned. This book is pretty big, goes really in depth and takes a lot of time and effort to read!
- Blog, Podcast and More: Jamie Balmet runs and amazing blog called youngwifesguide.com and a website called homemakingministries.com (where you can find all of her homemaking courses). I ran into her blogs before I was married and they were a huge encouragement to me because she got married at the same age I did (and when I got comments like the one above, I needed all the encouragement I could get)! Jamie also has podcasts, yearly homemaking conferences, ebooks, encouraging blogs, and so much more! She is always coming out with something new which I love! Go check out her websites! There are of course many other great blogs dedicated to teaching women how to be homemakers. This is just one of my favorites!
- Financial Peace University – This last resource is not directly related to homemaking but learning how to handle your finances is a must for a good homemaker! Dave Ramsey’s class, Financial Peace University is something I wish I went through before I was married. My husband and I both agree that this class has changed our lives forever! Kids of all ages come to this class too! There was a senior girl that came to the class my husband and I was very happy for her. She will know know how to handle her money wisely when she gets married and she will know how to stay out of debt too as she enters college! This class is a MUST!
If you’re married, what are some things you wish you learned before you were married? If you are not married, what are you going to do today to make sure you start learning about being a good homemaker?